Damned if you do, Damned if you don't

When I quit my job last month, relief swept over me. No more 55 hour work weeks. No more feeling like I am expendable. No more vomiting because I was just too stressed out. I thought by leaving that place I would find myself so carefree that nothing could get to me. For the most part that has proven true, but....

Now I am trying to stay busy by temping for the summer. The real problem is that Trent and I will be moving sometime in August, and I don't want to get a real serious job for only two months. A)because I kind of want to not be stressed out, and B) because I don't want to screw over some company by getting hired, and than then ditching them.

So, now I find myself stressed out for another set of reasons. My first temp agency was not keeping me very busy, so now I have two trying to hook me up with jobs. The jobs are mainly no brainer-type gigs where I sit at a front desk, answer the phone, file, etc. That is all well and good, but the REAL problem is that I am getting paid less the half what I was making before. OK....the stress is mainly coming in when I consider funds.

I had been so good the last month at my last job, saving, and putting away money because I knew I wouldn't be working for a while, and once I did go back to work I wouldn't be making much. It sucks that money can have such an effect on me, but as I watch my bank account slowly dwindle, I am starting to FREAK out. Now that Trent is living with me, I know at the very least I can borrow some funds from him, but the truth is I DON'T WANT TO! It just feels wrong. I mean we are not married, and he has worked just as hard, if not harder, for his money. AAHHHH!!!

I can get really careful with money when I need to be, but why do I spend, spend, spend when it is rolling in. If I was more cautious when I was making good money I wouldn't be in these situations. Anyways, I know it will work itself out, and my goal for the summer is to find cheap, inexpensive, and possibly free things to occupy my time.

I will let you know how that turns out.